“I can thank her training for a lot of those things. But one thing I never learned was how to fail. I was always too afraid of the consequences. So even today I’m not good with the unknown.”
This post by HONY (Humans of New York) touched a nerve long out of practice.
Throughout my life, I’ve never suffered from an identity crisis. I acknowledge my biggest flaws, embrace my strengths and still to this day, go toe-to-toe with my inner demons.
The way I am today is the result of the shaping and moulding by my mother’s hands. She showed me how to be a resilient lone female, and accept life’s turmoil with remarkable stoicism, but she also taught me that failure is not an option on life’s menu.
I am strong, I am ambitious, but I am deathly frightened of screwing up.
Making mistakes, of any magnitude, fills me with bubbling anxiety and can at times be overwhelming.
“But everyone makes mistakes.”
So I’m told. But not everyone was raised to see them as opportunities to do better next time. This is something I’ve had to learn in both the workforce and in love.
It’s inevitable to not make mistakes, what’s important is how you deal with them. Funnily enough, the more mistakes you make, the easier it becomes to make them.
This is not to say I enjoy screwing up, instead I’ve learned to react quickly to the situation at hand with a solution. I’ve also swapped self-pity and kicking oneself for making notes, ensuring it doesn’t happen a second time.
And these learnings are then passed down to my team, to my character, to my relationship and to my growing bank of experiences because isn’t that what life is? Taking responsibility for your mistakes is the first step of showcasing ownership.
Luckily, we’re not fixed in our ways and the human brain continues to develop depending on our actions. Keep going, practice makes perfect.